Not Your Average “Natural” Girl-Part II

Now, you probaby will never see me out and about with my afro in full effect because I just don’t care for the look on me. Going in, I never intended to rock the fro. I just wanted my hair to grow healthy without the use of the “creamy crack” as many call it. I looked at the process to be a challenge and it was and still is. It takes patience to sit down and twist your own hair for two hours uninterrupted not to mention the prep time involved such as washing and combing. The process can truly take a whole days work depending on how much hair you have and the addition of kids!

I can honestly say, I dread doing my hair. I love it when it’s done and I love it even better when someone else does it for me. My hair is coarse and thick. I often tell people I look like Ronald McDonald after my hair is washed (you will see)! I have tight curls and feel like I have about 70% shrinkage! Even with that being so, I like the versatility that comes with natural hair.

Here we go…the only picture of my afro you may ever see. My hair is more tightly curled then this when dry, but here is a look of me right after a wash:


Just to clarify, in regards to my regimen (my little sister had some concerns as I’m sure other naturalistas lol), I do tie my hair up most nights with a satin or stocking cap. I occassionaly will twist my hair up in 8-10 big braides before going to bed and co wash my hair every 2 weeks with Motions Moisturizer and Conditioner. Lastly, I use my three hair products every other night to prevent dryness. Now, I’m not sure if that’s going to make anyone feel better, but at least you have a little more accuracy on how I care for my hair. 🙂

Here’s a story for you…while at work one day I had the pleasure of assisting a Caucasian woman who knew exactly what she wanted and couldn’t be bothered with anything more. She was rude and abrupt and I couldn’t wait for her to buy her items and leave. While in the process of checking her out she said, “Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?” My initial thought was what could she possibly have to ask me after the way she been acting? With curiosity in me I said, “Sure what is it?” This is what she said no lie, “Why do black people like to wear their hair like us (straight), instead of wearing their own like yours?” She further explained that her and her two children were having a discussion about it after they saw Beyonce’s performance at the Superbowl.

I didn’t know if this woman was serious or not, but I chose to answer her question like I would if I had been ministering to a lost soul, I just let HIM use me! I told her that just like African Americans come in all different shades of colors, our hair is the same and comes in different texture too. I shared that for many of us, we grew up having relaxers in our hair because that was what our mothers did for one reason or another and it wasn’t until we got older we chose to do something different.

I explained to her that many of the African Americans she sees on TV like Beyonce, often wear wigs and other protective styles because of the line of work their in. I told her that if they had to apply color or heat on their hair for each scene in a video or a movie it would damage their hair. She then made a comment and said, “like Michelle Obama does.” I told her I wasn’t aware of our First Lady wearing any wigs and it appeared that she has always showcased her own hair. I lastly mentioned that even though she saw my hair the way it was (which was my signature look), my hair was a lot longer when I had it pressed and straighten.

After about 20 minutes of “schooling” the woman, I felt my work was done. I had tried my best to enlighten her the best way I knew how. For me, it’s not about “looking like like someone else,” its about having versatility and being chemically free…relaxer free that is. The Bible says, “My people perish for lack of knowledge.” Hosea 4:6. I believe we all have questions pertaining to something, we just need to take the necessary steps to ask the right questions and do the research. Happy hair day ladies and gents!

2 thoughts on “Not Your Average “Natural” Girl-Part II

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  1. I totally agree and thank you for enlightening this woman. If I may take it a few steps further and pose a few questions to the “Caucasian Woman” and perhaps enlighten her a bit also. Let me start by saying that It is sad that there are still ignorant people out there when it comes to the history of black women and women of color, and to assume that they know so much about us without really knowing anything about us, our lifestyle, our history and who we truly are. I blame a lot of this ignorance on the media and its long time negative potrayal and stereotypes of woman of color, particularly black women. People still today succumb to stereotypes and what they see on television, without taking the time to find out who we really are. So, with that being said, I would like to further educate the “Caucasian woman” and ask her a few questions. Why do white women want to be like black women? well, first let me provide a little history and education. As it is fact that black women practically created, invented,and pioneered hair extensions and are the catalyst behind this now multimillion dollar industry. (Thank you my Sistas) black women have been wearing extensions/weave, not because we have to or not because we dont love our hair lengths or hair textures. To the contrary, black women are the epitome of style and versatility, in that some times we want to add length, some days we want to wear our natural tressees and other days we might want to just pull it back in a bun. So, to the caucasian women let me ask you, why are white women wearing hair extensions in record numbers, from celebrities to your every day white women next door, perhaps they want to have hair like black women? hmmm, let me take it a step further. As black women we are blessed with a God given, natural curvasious figure. So let me ask you again “Caucasian Woman” why do white women want to have buttocks like black women? hmmmm, as it is a fact that white women are paying thousands of dollars to have butt injections and implaints to have large buttocks. So I pose the question again, perhaps white women want to have a figure and buttocks like black women? oh, or even full lips like black women ? well the facts speaks for itself and that is ; that white women are injecting their lips with silicone to have fuller and poutier lips, do you think this is because they want to have lips like black women? oh dont let me stop there; as was so eloquently stated in the blog, black women are blessed with beautiful skin hues ranging from pale latte to rich ebony, well perhaps then the reason white women spend thousand of dollars on tanning products and tanning salons is to have skin tones like a black woman? Lastly, let me take you way back in history a little bit as we all know that African women from the mother land created, pionerred and introduced to american black women Cornrows. Well then, for those of you that remember the movie “10” many years ago staring the actress Bo Derick. In this movie this white actress wore her hair in cornrows, with beads. Well now, perhaps, you think she wanted to have hair like black women? I hope that you all get the point that I am trying to make and perhaps I have enlighned a few people that needed it. It is sad that there are stil some people who are looking at the world through clouded lenses and are still afraid to think beyond their own fears, insecurities and hypocritical mind set. Let me say this black women and women of color, yes we are the epitome of beauty all the way from the nubian queens to the princesses of the African Diaspora. Be proud of who you are and how you rock your style, and yes be proud and love the skin you are in. Because whether people want to admit it or not, (and to the contrary of the “caucasian woman”) we have set the stage for beauty and yes we are the new standard of beauty, that is often imitated but never recreated. In closing, let me say to all women embrace the differences in us all and seek an understanding before judgeing and making assumptions about another race/ethnicity.

    Ms. T

    1. Thank you for passionate comments Ms. T. I do agree the media plays a role in how we perceive one another and I think we as a nation need to do better.

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