Refocus

Sometimes we get caught up with all the challenges of life and it’s not until either something drastic happens or we have had enough, that we ask ourselves, “How did I get here?” When you examine your life, you are where you are based off of the choices you’ve made whether good or bad. However, when you have made the wrong decisions, it’s about how you respond that will determine what happens next. 

 I used to tell my team, “control your controllables.” Meaning, you decide where your next move will be. Don’t get down and dishearten about what happen or could have been, but focus on what can be. Redirect your way of thinking and find out what your true purpose is. Do what makes sense and most importantly, do what makes you happy. #purposefilled 

Skirt, Tank & Neckalace H&M/3/4 sleeve Cardigan-Nordstrom/ Sandals-Walmart

Photo credit: My Boobikins đŸ˜‰

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Life. Love. Loss. 


One minute I was pregnant and then in another I wasn’t. On June 8th 2017 I miscarried at 9 weeks. My husband and I were not planning on our 4th child so soon after our last, however after about a month of getting use to the idea, we began to do so. We were planning when we were going to tell our families and announce to our friends. We were planning how we we were going to adjust our home and even our finances. 

Two days prior to my miscarriage I had an annoying feeling in my stomach. Both my husband and I woke up around 2 am on Wednesday morning in the bathroom feeling sick. Initially we thought it was from pizza we had ordered the previous night, however the kids were not sick. That same day I started spotting which I had never did when pregnant with any of my other children, yet I knew it wasn’t uncommon. 

Thursday morning I felt the same and was still spotting when I woke up and yet went into work. Around 12:40 I needed to go to the bathroom and that’s when it everything began. I passed what look like a large blood clot and what looked like a mucus plug afterward. Immediately fear started setting in and I knew something was very wrong. 

I quickly grabbed my stuff and went to my car and as calmly as I could called my doctor’s office in which they had me come right away. It literally took me 10 min. to arrive getting their at 1pm. I didn’t want to call my husband until I knew if my fears were confirmed or not, yet at the same time I needed him to know and I needed him to pray. I sent him a text because I didn’t want to cry, but he immediately called me and we talked as I waited to be seen. 
As soon as I was called I was asked to pee in a cup for testing. It was then that I passed which looked like another large blood clot and that is when I really knew that was it. That was my baby. The doctor told me the test came back that I was pregnant, however with all that had happen it didn’t sound like it was a healthy pregnancy.  After that, I had to get a sonogram to find out for sure. 

As I lay there on the table, I prayed that somehow after everything, miraculously my baby was still there. After several minutes of clicking and hearing no heartbeat, I was told that the baby was no longer there and that I most likely passed out everything that needed to come out when I went to the bathroom. I still tried to remain calm even after the doctor told me that there is always a 20% chance of miscarrying, yet I had been fortunate to have three children up to that point. 

Before leaving I had to have my blood work done and return after a week to make sure my hormone levels and everything went back to normal. As soon as I got to the car I let it all out and cried. Blaming myself of course and feeling like I was responsible for this happining. I called my husband in the midst and told him we had lost the baby, which was the hardest thing I had to do in life. 

I can say that I never thought this would happen to me and honestly this still feels surreal. I never got to hear my baby’s heartbeat nor did I see him/her moving around on a screen. Somehow I think the loss is easier to deal with just because of that. Today, June 19th would have been our first sonogram scheduled for 2:30pm and I am reflecting on what could have been. 
I chose to write this because I have always found comfort in writing. I chose to share this because you never know who may find their own comfort in knowing they are not alone.  I will never forget “Baby Fountain #4” and I will always be greatful that God chose me to be a carrier of one of his most precious gifts. 

One thing that I know to be true is that God is still a good God and we know He will grant us the desires of our heart.  The other thing I know to also be true is “…that all things work together for good to them that are the called according to His purpose.” Rom. 8:28. When it’s time, we will have another child. As for now, we are all doing fine and take each day with an extra little bit of love and an extra little bit of care.



The picture above was taken 1week prior to our miscarriage. 

It’s not a Resolution

We made it! It is a brand new year and for many it’s the start of  “New Year Resolutions,” which typically ends in a matter of a few short weeks. I too have goals and expectations for the New Year, however I have learned that waiting till the clock strikes 12 to change a pattern is like showing up to a battle at 1pm when it started at 8 am. In other words, you are late. 

You don’t need a “New Year” to change bad habits or start a business venture. You shouldn’t wait to put anything off because you never know when your last day will be. Whatever work you started in 2016, will hopefully only continue in 2017, but on a bigger and better level. Know that if you are going to achieve the ultimate greatness, you can’t waste time and continually put things off (this includes the laundry that I have had in a basket for 2 1/2 weeks)! 

I pray in this New Year that if you happen to start a “new thing,” that you will keep it going no matter what. That you will be encouraged and not give up no matter what it may look like. Remember your “why” and stay empowered to make it through. Lastly, remember that no battle was ever won without a plan.

Be blessed in this New Year and get ready to receive your better!

Just a Reminder

For “Family and Friends Day,” Bishop gave an awesome message reminding us that power is in the tongue. I received this message and reflected on my life, particularly as it pertained to my business. One has to be careful of what you speak because it liable to come true. In the same token, if you want to be successful, it all begins in your mind and proceeds out your mouth.
When I think about running my own business I get mixed emotions. I have both joy and fear at the same time. The joy comes to mind when I think about the limitless possibilities that can come from a simple thought of me stepping out and doing “my own.” Fear sets in when I begin to execute and things aren’t as easy as I expect them to be, especially when I have to depend on others. 
I have to constantly remind myself that if I wasn’t built for it, God wouldn’t have given me the vision. At the same time, in life you have to fight for what you want and to understand it won’t always be easy. Some of the most successful people in life had to be told “no” and furthermore they had to find the will to keep their dream alive. 
In order for me to go to the next level in my life or much less in my career, I need to make sure my mind is being fed the right things. From there, the things of my heart will then overflow into my reality. I simply need to speak those things as if they were and take action behind it. Be encouraged wherever you are in life today and whatever you do, keep moving forward. 

Supportive Scripture: Prov. 18:20-21

No Worries

Service was definitely on point today. Bishop spoke from 1 Peter 5:5-10 in which he encouraged our souls. One of the things he  discussed was not allowing the thoughts and opinions of others to effect us.  Furthermore, getting to a point where we say, “I don’t care”… literally. 

In life, we often give credit to the wrong people. These people tend to control how we think, what we say and how we act because we are afraid of their perception of us. Know that God does not have you here living for other people. 

He has you here living for Him. To give Him the glory, to teach and preach about His goodness. If Jesus was persecuted because he followed after God, how much more you? We are simply here to do what he has called us to do and are enjoying some of the perks along the way. 

We have to stop being fearful of the unknown and not allow people to be apart of our life that shouldn’t. Life is truly too short to live it through the eyes of someone else. Focus on the right things and be true to yourself and who God made you to be. When you do, you will ALWAYS win. 

Additional Supportive Scriptures:

Romans 8:31

Psalm 23:4

Proverbs 18:10

John 10:10

Happy Birthday to Me!

So I am yet another year older (35 to be exact)! When I think about how long I have walked this Earth I have realized I still have so much to accomplish. God has truly blessed me and proven His WORD over the years and for that I am so grateful! There is so much more He must do in me that remains to be seen and I can’t wait for it to be revealed! đŸ˜˜

  

  

 

  

  

  

Jacket –H&M/ Tank& Jewelry-Nordstrom/Skirt-Forever21/ Shoes-Alfani

Makeup: Me

  
 

Mother of Three: The Balancing Act

So after having my third child I quickly learned just how busy my life had become. I can honestly say that I had more time prior and took it for granted. I believe the toughest part about being a mom of three is being able to give each child the attention he/she needs. 

I remember when my daughter was an infant, my son couldn’t wait for her to fall asleep and ask “So mommy what do you want to do with me?” Of course I was exhausted as any mom would be after caring for a newborn and a toddler. On Most occasions, “mommy and me time” didn’t last very long because by the time I did what I needed to do (like shower) and then play with my son, my daughter would wake up. Furthermore, my son was uninterested in all three of us playing and is the same way today. 

I cannot say that I have figured out a way to balance my time amongst the three, but I am trying. More so  with my daughter. Since she is my shadow and literally watches my every move, its important to me that I spend as much time as I can showing her how to be a young lady. Also so she doesn’t have the “middle child complex syndrome”as my husband often says. Lol.  

As for my boys, I am not really worried about them. Even though they need mommy too, its in a different way. I will always be there for them, however they will have to rely on their father to teach them the ropes of how to be men with honor. 

It is my prayer everday that God will help me to be the best mother to my kids, to lead by example and help them know the Lord as they should. I understand that I am a work in progress.  I truly believe that if I trust in the Lord He will lead me through any obstacle, including the highs and lows of being a parent as He will for you. 

Stay tuned for the follow up. Be blessed! 

Supported Scriptures: 

Psalms 119:105

Proverbs 3:5-6